The last time i post something in here was apparently 8 years ago.
I randomly open this blog, read my past posts since way back in 2009, 10 years ago, back when i was in college. it was fascinating reading my old self, i sounded so cheerful in those, i asked myself, was i that happy, that happy go lucky back then? i know things were simpler, but i also know deep down inside i hide so many things, which then explode in 2010.
Looking back, i guess i realized many things, how the road was never that easy, how time passed by so fast yet so slow, how it took that much for me to now understand myself better, maybe not completely, but surely better than back then. But, there is something inside of me that also tells me, that it was not all lie, i was that grateful of life, not that i'm not now, but it's just different, it feels like reading a perspective of a different person, not a lie, just a different person. i guess it is about being an adult, about growing up, that you think of different problems and matters, but there are still a bit of you (or many?) that left unchanged since that time. so many things jumbled through my mind, but i have yet found the right words to express it. it was like reading a time capsule, and the affect is lasting a bit longer.
I write this post, to make it as a circle somehow, to be read again, someday, some other time. to further realize the stark differences of being a 20 something and a 30 something i am today. i will write again, maybe, to continue this post, when i have gather my thoughts.
