i feel old.

i feel.. lost.

nah, its an over statement. life has been.. good and i have been feeling grateful.
i've been thanking God, for me having such wonderful long time best friends.

but, school sucks. nothing new i guess. i bet you all have been in my position..

i feel like bawling every time i remember my thesis.
because truth be told, i, sometimes don't know what to write.
i feel equally like crap and terrified, to the point where i can't do anything..
i have once staring blankly to my laptop for a freaking 2 hours!
and ended up playing solitaire, lame. i know.

i should've turn to God in times like these, and i have been trying to..

on the other note, a happy one.. my best friend Resik is having her 23rd birthday today!

me and my friends gave her cupcakes with things she own or like as the fondant,
looks yummy and pretty..

the fondants are : yaris, macbook, travel bag, channel bag
bikini, iphone, sunglasses. those are things that she likes and own

too bad a lot of my friends and her college friends can't come to the actual surprise
when you grow old, apparently there are so many responsibilities you have to handle
and you can't easily go out anymore. oh God, i feel old.
and to remember exactly one year ago, all of us, gave her surprise at Bandar Djakarta makes me sad
it seems days like that won't easily come anymore.. from fully team and now down to two, yeah it's just me and fitri..

me and fitri with the birthday girl!

but still, i wish nothing but the best for the birthday girl, and to say it out loud..
i freaking miss my friends, and all of us hanging out together on weekends, even on weekdays
simply doing nothing, just laugh and play stupid games or sports
but things have changed, i broke up, my best friend broke up, people move on..
we're still in one circle, but to wish nothing will be different is just.. unrealistic, i guess.

growing old do sucks. well, anyway happy birthday resik!

oh the irony.


R