the new decision and the future.

this entry is written after an inspiring talk i had with my best friend in the afternoon.


I made another decision in my life. So i am planning to do good deeds by actually involve in the community (i won't spill the details, i don't wanna jinx it). and this thing i'm doing is reminding me of one of the episode of Friends. i remember how Chandler said to Phoebe that there are no selfless good deeds in this world. you never purely doing things just for others without thinking about yourself. and now i experienced it myself.

I mean, i did this at first with good intentions, that i really want to make all the ideas in my head into actions. and better yet, to stop being angry to the world and actually took part in making the world a little bit better. but i realized later that i did what i did to also making me feel good about myself, and when i feel good about myself i will feel happy and content with my life. that is not so selfless isn't it?

But i am justifying my actions by thinking, "well, things should always be balance, it's a win-win solution" haha. i think Chandler is the right one in this matter.

Well, with this decision being made, i talk with one of my best friend about it, which leads into some serious talk. about future, works, and ways to be a better person. we talk about how to be rich and then later spent some of it to charity, basically we talk about what we want for our future. and then she said "i'm afraid of getting older, being 30 and then 40 and then closer to death".

what she said hit me, that the thing we most scared of about the future is the uncertainty of things. we don't know what the future holds and how long we're going to live. but contrary to my friend's belief, i think age should be the last thing we scared of, because age is actually the most certain thing in this world. we will always getting older, not younger. we always knew that as years gone by, we will grow older. and i said to her. "i think we will not be so afraid of being 30 anymore, when we already hitting 30 and achieved all of our dreams".

yes, IMHO the best way to not be afraid of future is to try hard to reach your goals and dreams. because later when you are 30 or 40, you knew that you already work hard to be where you are. yes, you don't know what the future holds, but if you knew where you were going to and already tried hard to be there, you will have no regrets. when you are older you can trace all the things you've done and will be relief if you found out you did all those things, regardless it gave you good results or not, everything you did will be a good experience for you. and then you can think of what you should do next, things you have'nt done. rather than to be afraid of the future right now, we should find ways on how to get to the place where we don't have to be afraid anymore. the place where we already have what we want.

i found the phrase living to the fullest with a whole different meaning right now. i am walking step by step and experiencing all the new things to later be 30 and fabulous, and then i'll be 40 and content, and so on, 'till i leave this part of the world with no regrets.


one fine Sunday in June. :)