the new decision and the future.

this entry is written after an inspiring talk i had with my best friend in the afternoon.


I made another decision in my life. So i am planning to do good deeds by actually involve in the community (i won't spill the details, i don't wanna jinx it). and this thing i'm doing is reminding me of one of the episode of Friends. i remember how Chandler said to Phoebe that there are no selfless good deeds in this world. you never purely doing things just for others without thinking about yourself. and now i experienced it myself.

I mean, i did this at first with good intentions, that i really want to make all the ideas in my head into actions. and better yet, to stop being angry to the world and actually took part in making the world a little bit better. but i realized later that i did what i did to also making me feel good about myself, and when i feel good about myself i will feel happy and content with my life. that is not so selfless isn't it?

But i am justifying my actions by thinking, "well, things should always be balance, it's a win-win solution" haha. i think Chandler is the right one in this matter.

Well, with this decision being made, i talk with one of my best friend about it, which leads into some serious talk. about future, works, and ways to be a better person. we talk about how to be rich and then later spent some of it to charity, basically we talk about what we want for our future. and then she said "i'm afraid of getting older, being 30 and then 40 and then closer to death".

what she said hit me, that the thing we most scared of about the future is the uncertainty of things. we don't know what the future holds and how long we're going to live. but contrary to my friend's belief, i think age should be the last thing we scared of, because age is actually the most certain thing in this world. we will always getting older, not younger. we always knew that as years gone by, we will grow older. and i said to her. "i think we will not be so afraid of being 30 anymore, when we already hitting 30 and achieved all of our dreams".

yes, IMHO the best way to not be afraid of future is to try hard to reach your goals and dreams. because later when you are 30 or 40, you knew that you already work hard to be where you are. yes, you don't know what the future holds, but if you knew where you were going to and already tried hard to be there, you will have no regrets. when you are older you can trace all the things you've done and will be relief if you found out you did all those things, regardless it gave you good results or not, everything you did will be a good experience for you. and then you can think of what you should do next, things you have'nt done. rather than to be afraid of the future right now, we should find ways on how to get to the place where we don't have to be afraid anymore. the place where we already have what we want.

i found the phrase living to the fullest with a whole different meaning right now. i am walking step by step and experiencing all the new things to later be 30 and fabulous, and then i'll be 40 and content, and so on, 'till i leave this part of the world with no regrets.


one fine Sunday in June. :)

Best Friends: My Support System

This is my recent entry on my facebook notes. i was posting it at facebook earlier, just so i can directly tagged my friends. But now, I feel like posting it here too. so here we go!


Best friends, in my honest opinion, are people who always there no matter what. I don't have to act or play coy. I can scream, fight and being childish all i want, but they will still accept me. They don't necessarily have to agree with me, but they also did not despise me for being who i am.

Friendship is effortless.

it's supposed to be that way. effortless doesn't mean you do whatever you want or like regardless of your friend's feeling, you still respect each other but you don't have to think and try hard to please the other end.

I always being me with my best friends. I can care, listen and be there for them. but i also can get upset, being moody, asking them to pick me up or something, well, i'm being honest. Did they ever upset when i was like that? YES, BIG TIME! But, did they ever leave me? never.
I don't have to act all sweet and sugary for making them to stay.

We often talk things behind each other back, yes it is bad, but it's also human. There is a saying "those who gossip with you, also gossip about you" err, something like that, i don't know the exact words. and whoever said that the first time was getting it spot on. i mean it's true, so true. anyone who deny it, is either a saint or a liar. But there is always a way to make things right, and for me and my friends, is to saying it upfront to the person we were talking behind afterward. yes, we talk about each other, but we do not keep those things we're saying behind in the end. we are human, but we choose to be a better human. we do not want to judge, as simple as that.

When life is hard, i lean on them. I realized just recently how my friends is becoming my support system. when i was upset or sad, a simple text can cheer me up. when everything seems wrong, they took me to the right path and saying the right things at the right time. they're not saying 'i love you' that often, but they always asking me 'how things are going?' or 'where are you?' and it's more than enough. because i knew they care.

Me and them, we have a bond, as hard as gold, as long as forever told.


Note. Thank you dear friends, to stick with me throughout these years or even decade. kisses.

109 Cat Facts.

Hope you will find these information about cat are interesting. because i do! enjoy, learn and happy reading cat lovers! (or may i say Ailurophilia?) :)

1. Ailurophilia is the "love of cats."
2. The nose pad of a cat is ridged in a pattern that is unique, just like the fingerprint of a human.
3. There are more than 500 million domestic cats in the world, with 33 different breeds.
4. The American cat population reached nearly 68 million in 1996. American Demographics magazine estimates that's about 200 million kitty yawns per hour and a whopping 425 million
5. A cat's heart beats twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats per minute.
6. 25% of cat owners blow dry their cats hair after a bath.
7. The largest cat breed is the Ragdoll. Males weigh twelve to twenty pounds, with females weighing ten to fifteen pounds. The smallest cat breed is the Singapura. Males weigh about six pounds while females weigh about four pounds.
8. catnaps each day!
9. Calico cats (three colors cat) are almost always female.
10. If your cat is near you, and her tail is quivering, this is the greatest expression of love your cat can give you. If her tail starts thrashing, her mood has changed-time to distance yourself from her.
11. Cats wag their tails when it is in a stage of conflict. The cat wants to do two things at once, but each impulse blocks the other. For example: If your cat is in the doorway wanting to go outside, and you open the door to find it raining, the cat's tail will wag because of internal conflict. The cat wants to go outside, but doesn't want to go into the rain. Once the cat makes a decision and either returns to the house or leaves into the rain, the tail will immediately stop wagging.
12. Don't pick a kitten or a cat up by the scruff of its neck; only mother cats can do this safely, and only with their kittens.
13. Cats knead with their paws when they're happy.
14. Your cat loves you and can "read" your moods. If you're sad or under stress, you may also notice a difference in your cat's behavior.
15. The domestic cat is the only cat species able to hold its tail vertically while walking. All wild cats hold their tails horizontally or tucked between their legs while walking.
16. An average cat has 1-8 kittens per litter, and 2-3 litters per year.
17. During her productive life, one female cat could have more than 100 kittens.
18. In 1952, a Texas Tabby named Dusty set the record by having more than 420 kittens before having her last litter at age 18.
19. The largest known litter (with all surviving) was that of a Persian in South Africa named Bluebell. Bluebell gave birth to 14 kittens in one litter!
20. A single pair of cats and their kittens can produce as many as 420,000 kittens in just 7 years.
21. More than 35,000 kittens are born in the U.S. each year. Spay or neuter your cat.
22. Cats have 290 bones in their bodies, and 517 muscles.
23. A cat has five more vertebrae in her spinal column than her human does.
24. There are three body types for a cat. Cobby type is a compact body, deep chest, short legs and broad head. The eyes are large and round. Muscular type is a sturdy body and round, full-cheeked head. Foreign type is a slender body, with long legs and a long tail. The head is wedge-shaped, with tall ears and slanting eyes.
25. Sir Isaac Newton, discoverer of the principles of gravity, also invented the cat door.
26. A cat will almost never "meow" at another cat. This sound is reserved for humans.
27. If your cat is 3, your cat is 21 in human years. If your cat is 8, your cat is 40 in human years. If your cat is 14, your cat is 70 in human years.
28. The average age for an indoor cat is 15 years, while the average age for an outdoor cat is only 3 to 5 years.
29. The oldest cat on record was Puss, from England, who died in 1939 just one day after her 36th birthday. (We wish we could have them all that long!)
30. The weirdest cat on record was a female called Mincho who went up a tree in Argentina and didn't come down again until she died six years later. While treed, she managed to have three litters with equally ambitious dads.
31. A cat's normal body temperature is 101.5 degrees. This is slightly warmer than a humans.
32. People who own pets live longer, have less stress, and have fewer heart attacks.
33. Cats love to chew on grass, catnip, parsley or sage. Become a green thumb and plant an indoor garden for your cat! But be careful!
34. There are two species of wild cats in African and Europe that still hunt. These two species both resemble the domestic tabbies.
35. The behaviors shown by most house cats have a parallel in the wild.
36. A cat will kill it's prey based on movement, but may not necessarily recognize that prey as food. Realizing that prey is food is a learned behavior.
37. The greatest number of mice killed by one cat? 28,899! Towser, a tortoise-shell tabby in charge of rodent control in Scotland, killed 28,899 mice in her 21 years. This is about four mice per day, every day, for 21 years. Towser died in 1987.
38. The first cat show was held in 1895 at Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York.
39. A falling cat will always right itself in a precise order. First the head will rotate, then the spine will twist and the rear legs will align, then the cat will arch its back to lessen the impact of the landing.
40. "Sociable" cats will follow you from room to room to monitor your activities throughout the day.
41. What kind of "mood" is kitty in? Her eyes, whiskers and ears will tell you. Learn to read the signs she gives you.
42. The most popular names for female cats in the U.S. are Missy, Misty, Muffin, Patches, Fluffy, Tabitha, Tigger, Pumpkin and Samantha.
43. Give your cat a quality scratching post to deter her from scratching your furniture. Still scratching? Try putting lemon scent or orange scent on the area. Cats hate these smells.
44. Try hanging an orange or lemon scented air freshener in the inner branches of your Christmas tree, if your cat is a seasonal "climber."
45. In English, cat is "cat." In French, cat is "Chat." In German, your cat is "katze." The Spanish word for cat is "gato," and the Italian word is "gatto." Japanese prefer "neko" and Arabic countries call a cat a "kitte."
46. Cats get their sense of security from your voice. Talk to your cats! And be mindful of your tone of voice. Cats know when you're yelling at them (though they may not care).
47. The more cats are spoken to, the more they will speak to you.
48. The richest cat in the Guinness Book of World Records is a pair of cats who inherited $415,000 in the early '60s. The richest single cat is a white alley cat who inherited $250,000. (Now that will buy a lot of catnip!)
49. The Giraffe, Camel and Cat are the only animals that walk by moving both their left feet, then both their right feet, when walking. This method of walking ensures speed, agility and silence.
50. It is believed that a white cat sitting on your doorstep just before your wedding is a sign of lasting happiness. White cats are a symbol of good luck in America, while black cats are a sign of bad luck.
51. Cats can see in color!
52. Cats are partially color blind. They have the equivalency of human red/green color blindness. (Reds appear green and greens appear red; or shades thereof.)
53. Cats don't see "detail" very well. To them, their person may appear hazy when standing in front of them.
54. Cats need 1/6th the amount of light that humans do to see. Their night vision is amazing!
55. Cats can see up to 120 feet away. Their peripheral vision is about 285 degrees.
56. Cats eyes come in three shapes: round, slanted and almond.
57. The color of a kitten's eyes will change as it grows older.
58. At birth, kittens can't see or hear. Cats open their eyes after five days and begin to develop their eyesight and hearing at approximately 2 weeks. They begin to walk at 20 days.
59. Kittens begin dreaming at just over one week old.
60. A cat's ear pivots 180 degrees. They have 30 muscles in each ear, and use twelve or more muscles to control their ear movement.
61. A group of kittens is called a "kindle."
62. A group of grown cats is called a "clowder."
63. Cats rub up against other cats, and people, in an attempt to "mark" them with their scent glands. They most often use the scent glands between their eye and ear (near the temple area) or their scent glands near the base of their tail.
64. Have you ever tried to feed your cat food that was just taken out of the refrigerator? Most cats prefer their food at room temperature, and will boldly REFUSE any food that is too cold or too hot.
65. Many experts report that cats will purr when feeling any intense emotion (pleasure or pain).
66. Give your cat fresh water at least once a day. If your cat refuses your tap water, it may be sensing (with it's superior sense of smell) the chlorine or other minerals in your water. Many finicky felines demand bottled water, just like their human counterparts.
67. Don't put your cat on an all-vegetarian diet. Cats need protein to survive.
68. Never feed your cat dog food. Cats need five times more protein than dogs do
69. If your cat misses one meal, a trip to the vet may be necessary.
70. Cats are the sleepiest of all mammals. They spend 16 hours of each day sleeping. With that in mind, a seven year old cat has only been awake for two years of its life!
71. Cats are more active during the evening hours.
72. Cats spend 30% of their waking hours grooming themselves.
73. 95% of all cat owners admit they talk to their cats.
74. Backward-pointing spikes on a cat's tongue aid in their grooming.
75. The average cat weighs 12 pounds. If you can't feel your cat's ribs, she's too heavy
76. If an overweight cat's "sides" stick out further than her whiskers, she will lose her sense of perception and stability. Don't be surprised if she starts to squeeze into an opening that the rest of her can't fit into, only to back herself back out quickly!
77. According to the Guiness Book of World Records, the heaviest cat on record was Himmy, an Australian cat, who weighed 46 pounds, 15.25 ounces in 1986. Himmy's waist was 33 inches! The previous record-holder had been Spice, a ginger-and-white tom cat from Connecticut, who weighed 43 pounds when he died in 1977.
78. The tiniest cat on record was Tinker Toy from Illinois. A male Himalayan-Persian, he weighed 1 pound, 8 ounces fully grown and was 7.25" long and 2.75" tall!
79. Your cat is probably either a "righty" or a "lefty." Only 40% of cats are ambidextrous while another 40% are either right-pawed or left-pawed.
80. Cats love high places. They share this love with leopards and jaguars, who sleep in trees. If a cat begins to fall, his inner ear canal (which controls balance) will help him right himself and land on his feet.
81. Domestic cats are essentially loners. When placed in a group, they develop their own hierarchy. As long as there is plenty of food on hand, a cat can learn to share it's domain with other cats.
82. Cats are more aggressive when they are not neutered or spayed.
83. 21% of U.S. households have at least one cat.
84. The number of pet-owning households is expected to grow nearly 12% between 1993 and 2000, and another 5% between 2000 and 2010.
85. 34% of cat-owning households have incomes of $60,000 or more.
86. 32% of those who own their own home, also own at least one cat.
87. "Pair bonds" can develop between two cats who live together, or between a cat and a person.
88. A cat that bites you after you have rubbed his stomach, is probably biting out of pleasure, not anger.
89. An adult cat has 32 teeth.
90. Never leave your cat in a vehicle alone. On summer days, temperatures in an automobile can reach 160 degrees in just minutes, even with the windows cracked.
91. "PSI trailings" attempt to explain a cat's ability to travel a long distance to return to their home. It is said they use the earth's gravity to determine "their place" in the world, and to develop the ability to return there when necessary.
92. According to myth, a cat sleeping with all four paws tucked under means cold weather is coming.
93. Each year Americans spend four billion dollars on cat food. That's one billion dollars more than they spend on baby food! Expect to spend an average of $80 per year on vet bills, for the lifetime of each cat you own.
94. It costs $7000 to care for one household cat over its lifetime. This covers only the necessities; the pampered pet will carry a higher price.
95. In an average year, American cat owners spend $2.15 billion on cat food and $295 million on kitty litter.
96. There have been three different cats who have played the famed "Morris the Cat." The first Morris was adopted from a shelter in 1968. In 1969 he landed the role of Morris the Cat in the famous 9 Lives Cat Food commercials...and was an overnight success! The first Morris died in 1978 and was subsequently replaced by two more cats who played "Morris." All three of the "Morris the Cat" cats were rescued from shelters.
97. Choose your cat toys carefully. Choose light toys (for tossing), soft toys (for teeth and claws) and toys large enough that they can't be swallowed.
98. A flashlight makes a great cat toy! Turn the flashlight on in a dark room, and watch your feline "chase" the beam of light!
99. Cats love to hide! If yours comes up "missing," be sure to check in the bathtub, in your closet, in the dresser drawers, under a blanket or rug...or anywhere else you can possibly think of!
100. A collar and tag can help your cat find his way home should he ever be lost. Better yet-outfit your cat with an electronic identification chip.
101. To make sure your cat's collar fits properly, make sure you can slip two fingers under the collar, between the collar and your cat's neck.
102. The easiest way to pick up cat hair? Spray an anti-static spray on the area you want to clean. Wait one minute, then wipe up the hair with a six inch brush.
103. Egyptians shaved their eyebrows as a sign of mourning when they lost a beloved cat.
104. Hebrew folklore believes that cats came about because Noah was afraid that rats might eat all the food on the ark. He prayed to God for help. God responded by making the lion sneeze a giant sneeze and out came a little cat!
105. Stings to the mouth can be very dangerous to cats. If your cat is stung, or ever experiences any type of sting to the mouth, take her to the vet immediately. As her mouth swells from the sting, she may be unable to breath. Stings require urgent medical care.
106. Redecorating your home? Let your cat explore after the decorating is done. Paints, wallpaper pastes and paint thinners can be toxic to cats. Play it safe!
107. Pet-proof your house by looking for items that may be dangerous to them. These include cleaners, antifreeze, automobile coolant, and rat poison.
108. The fumes from moth balls destroy a cat's liver cells. Use cedar in your closet instead.
109. There are many items in your household with are poisonous to cats! Be careful with the following items: *acetaminophen (Tylenol), fungicides, paint, antifreeze, furniture polish, paint remover, aspirin, gasoline, permanent-wave lotion, bleach, hair coloring, photographic developers, boric acid, herbicides, pine-oil disinfectants, brake fluid, insecticides, rubbing alcohol, carburetor cleaner, kerosene, de-icers for melting snow, dandruff shampoo, axatives, shoe polish, deodorizers, lye, snail or bug bait, diet pills, matches, suntan lotion with cocoa butter, disinfectants, metal polish, drain cleaner, mineral sprits, turpentine, dry-cleaning fluid, mothballs, windshield-washer fluid, dye, nail polish, wood preservatives, fire-extinguisher foam, nail-polish remover

*i post it here in my blog after i randomly found it at other people's blog. but i accidentally close the blog after i copy the content, and i can't seem to find the source again. so if anyone feel like i'm not supposed to post it, just send me feedback, kay?


Regards,

Rani

Cry Baby Cry.

i need to fix my support system, my mind and restore some of my emotions back.

because i feel like crying these last few days, but i can't.

my life has been great lately, but these deadlines chasing me non stop and time flies.
i got ichwan thoha's boutique project to be open this 2nd june, yet it still has to be finish.
maybe lack around 10 percent, and hopefully it will be great and people will like the interior.
since people who invited to the grand opening/fashion show are including media and important peeps in Indonesia's fashion world. that will be a great and free promotion, hopefully we can gain another customer. *fingers crossed

Oh, the one and only thesis. only-2 weeks-left-oh-fudge! this is the ultimate turn down in my life right now. i still can't get through the company where i'm doing my research at. i got to running with time, no options left. and i have to pick up my mood to finish this.. to convince myself that i can finish it. because i have lost the will to finish it after 2 weeks chasing the company's PR and got nothing. Oh so help me God..

and the last thing, it's about my love life, which the last thing in my mind lately. but a recent event caught me off guard and bring some old pain and memories back. make me realize that i haven't really forgive and forget. it wreck me back then, and the pieces apparently haven't put back together. but since it's not involving me anymore, i wont do anything.. this is just a sickness because of a traumatic event back then.. but then again what's in the past stay in the past.. i will work my hardest to live for my future. it's better for me to don't know anything at all about her right now.. i was once thinking if someday he come back as a new and improve person, then i won't mind try to start from zero.. but now i don't know.. i had enough proves now.. i'm broken now, but i believe my best friend will help to put things back, better-than-ever.. :)

Gahh, so many things that makes me sad. but i feel better after lots of talk with my best friends. but i do need this really.. i forget the last time i feel so lost and then be found.. i need to cry once in a while so i won't explode because all the feelings that bottled up inside me. i pray a little more to God, asking for help.. and i think the answer came to me in a form of my fabulous friends.

aah, and i want to mention few quotes that my friends told me :

"i thought you don't have any emotions" - Rian
that word really made me laugh and make me realize that i have never show a fragile side of me to people, that's why people misunderstood me a lot, and always think that i don't need any help. but really it's the contrary. i need people to think that i'm not that tough once in a while, so they will show their support for me a little more..

"punya orang yang bener-bener sayang sama kita itu menyenangkan banget monch. take your time" - Ninta
God, it feels sweet and sad and encouraging all at once. i guess i have to wait for someone who really love me, takes a good care of me, understand me and won't hurt me over silly things like other women and stuff. i'm done with all the drama. it make me realize that i deserves better than this..

and they all say that i will survive like i always do. it's a good thing they really believe in me like that, but guys, you should know that i am really not that tough. hehe.

work a little harder, pray a little more, and smile. then maybe all the problems will go away.

You know what you got from watching TV? Nothing.

so, these last couple months (if not a year) i rarely be seen in front of tv.
apparently my blood pressure will go sky high and cost my life span shorter

well, not that bad.. but it probably is if i check my blood pressure regularly.

so i've just came across an article about how Mr. Boediono, Indonesia VP says that Ujian Nasional (National Exam) is not enough to build a person character. as much as i am grateful that he realized that, i can't help but to say "Helloooo, where have you been??"

and after i read this article, i can't help but to think about the reason why i despise local TV so much. so, i have this question.. how much do you think a student spent their time studying, and compare it to how much they watch TV?

i was a student my self, so i know that they'll spent most of their time in front of tv.
i was craving for entertainment and i didn't know any better to consume whatever they offered. i used to watch reality shows like "katakan cinta", "playboy kabel", even sinetron (local tv series). i was attached and believe all those things. did it do me any good? NO.
Thank God i'm a geek that read so much too. i read all serious stuff from when i was little, mario puzo, john grisham even marga t and other literature. those books gave me a better point of view towards life rather than those tv shows. period.

and i don't know if it's only me who realized it, but i think local shows are getting seriously worsen. i can't stand 5 minutes watching anything. i always ended up watching star world, e news or any other cable channels.
the reality shows fever started 10 years ago with katakan cinta and H2C, and when it's getting old, i thought it would stop, but guess what? others follow it and make different version of it. okay, so i probably should appreciate their creativity, but is that creativity give anything good? again NO.
What i hate the most is reality shows with dramatic love and religious concept, WE ALL KNOW IT WAS FAKE, well at least i knew, the acting was so bad and obvious.. and i can't help but wondering what on earth the production staff had in their mind to make such degrading so called reality shows?
didn't they knew any better that a lot of kids watching it? and could possibly learn from it?
do they have to learn about other family problems, in which the mother and children fighting and screaming, and all covered with a "reality" concept. even sinetron that definitely a fiction can affect other perception and act, can you imagine how far this "reality" can take those kids who didn't know any better??

the infotainment is definitely another trashy shows that local TV in Indonesia happily spreading it, the only decent one is probably Insert at trans tv but it probably because of the MCs. they said Infotainment is in the same form with news program, can they say it again with straight face? if they can, their acting skill must be amazing. how come it's a news program when the artist says A, then the presenter will say B, RIGHT AFTER the artist finish talking.. they try so hard to make news and twisting it in a way that it doesn't even make sense.

the only thing i watched in local tv is news program, but that's not exactly good either. there are two majors news station in Indonesia, and one of them is pretty new around here. they claim to be the best, but is it really? a lot of people already complaining on how this certain tv station, have unprofessional and unskilled news anchor and reporter. and they often milking it when there are major events going on. like one time, when there's an earthquake in west sumatra, the reporter REALLY asking a father who just lost his house and entire family, how did he feel.. it's really terrible and i even questioned did that person ever go to school or at least a human being? well that's just one example..

as for sinetron, don't get me started with it.. this post will be longer than it already is. to put it in a simple way, sinetron is everything that gone wrong in a study about broadcasting or cinematography. the hundreds of episode with no exact storyline, over the top acting, cheap production budget, and even worse.. a plagiarize story. UGH.

every time i turn on TV and one of these shows come up, i will getting angry and rant on my twitter or just talking to myself. i can't stand it. the majority of local shows gave no education for younger generation.. only a couple decent shows like Bolang and other travelling shows that portray Indonesia's culture worth watching.

so, if the VP wants to build younger generation's character, UN is definitely not a way for it. no question needed. they should've asking on whether local shows do anything to build one character or not. because seriously, UN is only happening once a year, whereas TV programs airing 24/7.

do the math please. save the little kids.


Regards,

R

one month left.

one month left for my thesis to get done.

and i wish i have more drive to finish it..

when the date hit 16th june, i'll post on how things finally go down..
because to tell you the truth, i have no idea how to get things done right now

so, to future me, i want to tell you.. thank you
to finally settle things and got it done
and i'll propose to future me a long long hours of sleep
so my mind and body can rest
and then i will give the future me, one hell of a summer break

before the reality kicking in.. that is..


see you in a month future me!


PS. This is not a crazy person's blog, she's just losing her mind a little


kisses

R

i feel old.

i feel.. lost.

nah, its an over statement. life has been.. good and i have been feeling grateful.
i've been thanking God, for me having such wonderful long time best friends.

but, school sucks. nothing new i guess. i bet you all have been in my position..

i feel like bawling every time i remember my thesis.
because truth be told, i, sometimes don't know what to write.
i feel equally like crap and terrified, to the point where i can't do anything..
i have once staring blankly to my laptop for a freaking 2 hours!
and ended up playing solitaire, lame. i know.

i should've turn to God in times like these, and i have been trying to..

on the other note, a happy one.. my best friend Resik is having her 23rd birthday today!

me and my friends gave her cupcakes with things she own or like as the fondant,
looks yummy and pretty..

the fondants are : yaris, macbook, travel bag, channel bag
bikini, iphone, sunglasses. those are things that she likes and own

too bad a lot of my friends and her college friends can't come to the actual surprise
when you grow old, apparently there are so many responsibilities you have to handle
and you can't easily go out anymore. oh God, i feel old.
and to remember exactly one year ago, all of us, gave her surprise at Bandar Djakarta makes me sad
it seems days like that won't easily come anymore.. from fully team and now down to two, yeah it's just me and fitri..

me and fitri with the birthday girl!

but still, i wish nothing but the best for the birthday girl, and to say it out loud..
i freaking miss my friends, and all of us hanging out together on weekends, even on weekdays
simply doing nothing, just laugh and play stupid games or sports
but things have changed, i broke up, my best friend broke up, people move on..
we're still in one circle, but to wish nothing will be different is just.. unrealistic, i guess.

growing old do sucks. well, anyway happy birthday resik!

oh the irony.


R

a tiny little baby step.. with huge impact.

i quit my job.
i love it, but it took a lot of time and concentration
i can't even do my assignments, so don't even ask about how's my thesis going
but, seriously it was too scary to not having any job
not having any income when you're used to having all of it

so, when two of my oldest friend Amy and Tya join in making a design interior company (the name is still yet to be decided, we have two option ; Concervoir or AD+ which is better?)
i decided to tag along, they invited me too, so i don't boldly offering myself
i'm dealing with clients and organizing details like filing, checklist, etc. communication related stuff, but i could also give in ideas for the concept..
at first it only started with accompanying them buying furnitures and such,
but today i also tag along in their meetings
i play the role in explaining the design concept
the client is Ichwan Thoha, he's a prominent young designer in Indonesia
he wants to open his new store at Grand Indonesia, a humongous mall that known with it's prestigious image
so today, i had a meeting with Grand Indonesia management to break down the renovation plan

i really really like this job, although i don't know whether i could make money out of it or not
but it's one step closer to my ever childhood/teenage dream of being an interior designer
i failed the test entering interior design program in my dream school
the stupid thing is, just because i can't get into that school, i gave up on it entirely
stupid much?
i took PR instead, which i have no interest in it before

also with this new job, i actually can combine my education in communication and my passion for design interior
and the time is like super flexible, so its not a burden at all
i feel so happy because i feel like i found my path back.. wish me good luck, will ya? :)


kisses,

R

Zodiac : Fact or Fiction?

Lately i've been a sucker for zodiac signs. it all started because of @zodiacfacts twitter account that it's popularity is spreading like wildfire in twitter feed lately. they keep on staying in trending topics for days because people keep on retweeting whatever they says. even at one point, almost every signs going up on the trending topics, people are apparently very narcissistic because they keep on retweeting their own sign posts for others to see, especially the good ones. (and i'm one of these people, ha!).
I'm actually never a believer nor interested in those kind of things. but after reading some of the post, it struck me that most of what they said about my sign, leo, are true. but then again, how come i believe that every leos in this world has the same character as mine, or is it even make sense that every people that being born in a certain date having a certain characteristic traits?
i should probably do some research about this, because to tell you the truth i'm starting to believe this. i mean i have been reading signs of people that are close to me, and the majority of what the zodiac facts says are somewhat true, although not EVERY thing they said are true, it is still amusing for me.

For example, this sentence below is definitely says a lot about me :

#Leo : What leo needs is a partner who can tolerate the shows of ego and see through them for what they are : an attempt to let the world know that leo's love is available- all a person needs to do to get it is just say thank you.

recently i have been in an argument with my boyfriend, because he can't read between the lines of who i am as a person. i am exactly like what the sentence before says about me. i need someone who can see right through me, because in so many occasions i only shows a superficial image of mine.
and i never say this to anyone before, but truth be told, i don't think that love is the ultimate thing that will bring peace to the world. i always think respect is something that quite underrated rather than love. can you imagine, a world where every person treat others the way they selves want to be treated? isn't world will become a better place?
i always thought love can became overboard, because there are only thin lines that dividing love, hate, obsession and foolishness. so many confusions about love because there are so many version of it. people can be misunderstood because of love. heck, people can even do a crime under the name of love.
but respect? it only have one version. treat others the way you want to be treated. that's it.
that's why i always believe people have to apologize when s/he did something wrong, it's just the right thing to do, and always have to say thank you every time it's possible to show how grateful you are. to God, your parents, friends, even to strangers.

in the end, i kinda have to admit i probably switch to the other side. i become a believer for these kind of things, at least for the fun of it. but i will still use my logic. i will not judge people based on their signs off course, never. BUT, i will not believe the horoscope post that often printed in magazines, like what's your lucky color and dates for this month and such. it's plain silly.
those things more likely to be a groundless premonition. it's different than zodiac facts i think.

now, what do you think? zodiac : fact or fiction?



Roar,


Rani

(because i'm a Leo, get it? grin)

Current Obsession : Cecilia Ahern & The Magic of Her Words.

I am a proud nerd. I really into books and reading in general.
I consume everything from a child's fairytale, novel, documentary, even history books. also comics, like romance with a high school-er as the main character, you know, like any typical japanese manga. but i also like bad ass manga, like twins, monster, etc.
Well basically i read almost anything. but i'm avoiding books about economy and such. if it's in newspaper i probably read it, but as for a book. no way.
I also never read about self-help or motivational books, i don't know why but i hate those kind of books. You know Mario Teguh? he's an author and a motivational speaker. boy, how i hate him. i don't mind listening to a very positive person. but this guy is unrealistic. and when i don't like something, i really shut them out of my mind. so there is no way i would read his book.
i consider books as my guidelines. you can learn a lot of things from them. but in this era where books turned digital and i can choose of what i want to know, i prefer the easier ones. google.
i have tendencies to googled everything i'm curious at. although wikipedia is often not a very reliable source, but it gave me basic information about everything.
What i read is actually defined of who am i as a person. of what i want, what i'm searching for in life. i really into history, arts, archeological, architecture stuffs, and you can found me browsing about them in the internet in my free times. ok, geek much? ha, i kinda don't care.

This post is supposedly tells you about an author or book that make a change in my life, something that i have read over and over and learn something from it. I have several favorite authors and books. As for my current obsession post with this theme, i'll choose one author whom, i think can really describe of what i feel with her words, her name is Cecelia Ahern. Although it's not that current, since i have been obsessing over her books these last couple years, i still think she's suit the best for this post.
She's a famous author by now, several of her books have made into movies, like PS I love you for example, and she's the script writer for tv series, Samantha Who.
there are so many of her words that left deep impression in me, that i can relate too. i found her books are somewhat magical. especially because i always think ireland is a magical country with all the castles, weather and the people. (her stories mostly based in Ireland)
I have wrote one of her lines here in my blog, the one that i can relate to with my condition at that moment. and i'd like to share more of her lines that left impression in me..

"Life... It's a great and terrible and short and endless thing. None of us come out of it alive."

"Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you'll land among the stars"

"...God leads you to it and takes you through it."

"We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it's easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found."

"Memories were fine but you couldn't touch them, smell them or hold them. They were never exactly as the moment was, and they faded with time."

"Stop and take your time to notice things and make those things you notice matter."

"sometimes we need all the glue we can get, just to hold ourselves together.""

"Believe me, when you die, it's everybody else's but your problem"

"She had been given a wonderful gift: life. Sometimes it was cruelly taken away too soon, but it's what you did with it that counted, not how long it lasted."

"Anyway, it doesn't matter how much, how often, or how closely you keep an eye on things because you can't control it. Sometimes things and people just go. Just like that."

"Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes.Sometimes, people can discover you, even though they've been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention."

"Being the best was as equal to being in the middle, which was equal to being the worst. All were merely a state of being. It was how a person felt in that state and why they were in that state that was the important thing."

"There's no limit to what you can dream. You expect the unexpected, you believe in magic, in fairy tales, and in possibilities. Then you grow older and that innocence is shattered and somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way and you're hit by the realization that you can't be all you wanted to be, you just might have to settle for a little bit less"


Her words are magic, and a little bit of faith in those wouldn't hurt i guess.


Regards,

Rani


"I believe in the magic of books. I believe that during certain periods in our lives we are drawn to particular books--whether it's strolling down the aisles of a bookshop with no idea whatsoever of what it is that we want to read and suddenly finding the most perfect, most wonderfully suitable book staring us right in the face. Unblinking. Or a chance meeting with a stranger or friend who recommends a book we would never ordinarily reach for. Books have the ability to find their own way into our lives." - Cecilia Ahern

New layout.

My blog's layout has changed, yet again.
but i'm pretty satisfied with this last one,
so i probably will stick with this for a long time.. well, at least till i'm bored.

A friend of mine, Ninta, help me a little. tweak here and there.

I like this because it's simple and the picture says a lot.
a good time with friend, being dressed up, pretty shoes and adorable dog. i'm sold.

and something fishy are going up in the surface, that even the dog isn't supposed to hear, it's simply epic! i like! :)


Kisses,

R

a quick getaway slash work.

i had an event at kampung sampireun, garut last week. i go there for work as i have to prepare the meeting for HP (hewlett-packard is one of my company's client) partners. as much as it is work, i enjoyed it a lot. The place is seriously FAR away, it was like 4 and a half hours from Jakarta. if you go there by bus, with a bunch of corporate staff and some of them are directors, you can't enjoyed the ride. i was so sleepy, but i can't sleep because yea it would look unprofessional, isn't it?
But after those long hours trip, the view of kampung sampireun was totally worth it. villas surrounding a lake, with a fish pond on the side and a small waterfall and a bamboo forest. added some sundanesse music and you totally got the atmosphere. you can go to places in kampung sampireun with a small boat or sampan, like from villa to villa, or just to go to the restaurant in the area. you can paddle it yourself, but if you can't there are a bunch of hotel staff ready to paddle it for you.

Here are some pictures :

a view from my villa's terrace

This picture is taken from google, i can't took a good picture at night.
but it pretty much look like this.

you see, i've tried to paddle it with one of my colleagues and i ended up almost fall from the boat and splattered with water from the sprinkler. i ended up yell for help and thank god one of the hotel staff is nearby, and running to help (while laughing off course). i even shove my paddle to him, because my boat is going to all direction. it was seriously embarrassing.
the food tasted great, all Indonesian delicacies you can ask for. the unique thing that kampung sampireun offers are in the morning and night, the caterer staff paddling around the lake and offer desserts or snacks. like at night they offer sekoteng, for those who didn't know what that is, it's kinda like a ginger ale but with fruit, peanut, bread crumbs, and all sort of things. and in the morning they offering serabi and like what Anthony Bourdain once said, it was sort of like Indonesian Pancake. and it was delicious, afterall i ate it in the cold morning, so it probably tasted better.
The work i did wasn't too hard, but i just tired of keep on walking from here and there, because i won't take the boat, i have to walk by foot, and in the end, for me to go from the meeting room to my room, i have to circle half of the area. now it is sick if you have to go back and forth like ten times.
but all in all, i really had a great experience. because kampung sampireun is pretty much expensive, so i kinda have an advantage because i got to stayed there for free. even better the concierge of the hotel gave me and my colleagues souvenirs because we held an event there. free gifts? hell yeah! *big grin


Regards,
Rani

week #1

Yes, a week has passed as per today in 2010. i enjoyed my new year's celebration as i got to spent it with my friends during the countdown at Birdcages and have a little getaway to puncak with my boyfriend and his relatives the next day. here are several pictures taken at those places :

This was taken exactly at 00.00 (well not exactly, but you know what i mean)


That time we're having a lot of fun playing with instax camera, kinda like polaroid but only smaller. we're planning to doodling the photo with words and stuff, like in one of one tree hill episode (too much series effect). anyway my friend Ivan scanned the picture and uploaded it in the internet and this is one of them.

This picture was taken when My boyfriend and I along with his family relatives playing at the villa's backyard. after this we played some cards, barbequeing, karaoke (no, not me) and some of the elders even dancing poco-poco. sounds fun eh? lol.

Well those pictures pretty much explained how i spent new year's of 2010. its pretty much a great celebration to start my year. although i have to get back to work on january 4th, but it's not much of a burden. Oh, i also want to start my year with good things for my health and body, so i was detox-ing, and only eat certain fruits and water for three days. Tho, the next day i ate like a pig (pasta de waraku and bakmi GM in one day, hell yeah! haha) but i feel refreshed nonetheless.

soo.. i spent the very first week of 2010 with a bang, i had a great celebration on new year's eve and had a productive week at work. hope the rest of this year will just as great! :)


HAPPY NEW YEAR!


Kisses,
Rani